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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25125655">Absurdity</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HufflepuffleMarauder/pseuds/HufflepuffleMarauder'>HufflepuffleMarauder</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Affirming things [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Kung Fu Panda (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Chaos, Comedy, Gen, Hijinks &amp; Shenanigans, Shifu's A+ parenting, Viper centric</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:40:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,546</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25125655</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HufflepuffleMarauder/pseuds/HufflepuffleMarauder</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The time when Viper snuck into Crane's room in the middle of the night and plucked one of his feathers out - and chaos ensued.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Crane &amp; Viper (Kung Fu Panda), Furious Five - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Affirming things [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1820071</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>43</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Absurdity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A loose sort of spin-off from my other fic Affirmations. There are no references to that fic in this story, so it can be read as a stand-alone :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Viper didn’t know <em>quite </em>why the urge to do it was so strong.</p>
<p>As she swept the floor of the training hall she mused over what got her into this situation in the first place…</p>
<hr/>
<p>Everyone was riding the high of a recently completed mission sent by the Gongmen Council. It had been very successful, far more than what they’d expected due to how huge the undercover operation of thieves was. The journey back from Peking was long, tiring and left them all dead on their feet upon arrival at the Palace. Though very ready to sleep for days they celebrated first. Shifu didn’t join in with the festivities, but did let them have the next few days off to do as they pleased. (Something Monkey and Mantis took complete control over, and spent most of their time eating almond cookies and bothering Shifu) One of their last free days everyone made the collective decision to go down to the village together. The plan was to eat at Ping’s restaurant (making an appearance always stirred up eager customers and fans) because after the long weeks of travelling they all missed quality food from Mr Ping. And after entertaining some of the children and eating their fill, they’d look at what the street vendors in the market had to offer.</p>
<p>One vendor in particular caught Viper’s eye.</p>
<p>She slithered over and looked closely at what he was selling. “You like what you see master Viper?” The pig asked her kindly.</p>
<p>They were rows and rows of quills. All different shapes and sizes, with some boasting bright colours in a beautiful gradient and others more humble in grey or white. They had a silky sheen only nature’s birds could provide, along with fine hairs perfectly shaped to look aesthetically pleasing. Some were sort of fluffy at the base, and others were much thicker and stronger. The nibs varied as well, each one with a singular purpose, told proudly by the neatly written labels they sat on.</p>
<p>“They look lovely!” She breathed. “Did you make them yourself?” They had to be hand-crafted! Where else could one acquire such lovely quills?</p>
<p>The pig nodded proudly. “Not a terribly hard skill to learn, but hard to perfect.” He picked up one of the more extravagant quills and showed it to her. “All you need is a thin piece of bamboo and a healthy feather. First thing you do is take the end of your feather and carve it into whatever nib you want it to be, then, taking care not to break the feather, attach the bamboo stick to the back of it. A good tip is to sand down the bamboo to make it softer. You still following?”</p>
<p>Viper nodded quickly. “Feather, bamboo, sanding, right.”</p>
<p>“By attaching the bamboo it allows you to have a firmer grip when writing, and the feather… well, let’s just say that it’s for added novelty.” He gestured with a grin to the bright colours around him.</p>
<p>The pig had given her such detailed instructions on how to craft these beautiful things, that Viper let herself wonder if it were a hobby she could take up. How many would she make? And what types could she make? Maybe she could send them to her family as a new year’s gift! The possibilities were endless. The only thing stopping her was the lack of a certain crafting material. A material she had no idea how or even where to obtain.</p>
<p>Curiousity already piqued, she went in for the kill. “Can I ask where you get your feathers from?”</p>
<p>“Funny thing is Master Viper, I have a close friend who is a goose and he drops feathers constantly! I’m pretty sure it’s genetic, but anyway, he’s happy to hand over his feathers, so I’ve almost got an infinite supply!” He picked up a grey quill with a white gradient at the tip. “Not a bad colour either…” He muttered more to himself than her. <em>Birds, feathers are from birds… </em></p>
<p>Viper looked behind her where her friends were entertaining a group of children. Tigress didn’t look too happy about the young bunnies latching themselves onto her tail, and made small efforts to get them to let go. Monkey was laughing himself to death at her, making no attempt to ward off the kids on <em>his </em>tail. At first Mantis was nowhere to be seen, until she realised he’d been mistaken for a toy. The child in question, was having the time of his life. Po seemed slightly afraid to ask for Mantis back, and let the insect abuse unfold, knowing Mantis would give him a mouthful later on.</p>
<p>Though it wasn’t them she was looking at. Crane, she noted, was a bird. A bird with feathers. And not just one measly layer, he had <em>loads.</em> A very healthy, thick plumage of black and white. As well as a huge wingspan made even larger by the infinite rows of feathers. Now she noticed it, she almost felt that he had quite a lot <em>more</em> than what he really needed. Surely most of it was just for show? Eyeing his wings eagerly she knew her assumption must be right. <em>There’s my infinite supply, </em>she thought gleefully.</p>
<p>The pig had also followed her line of thinking, and was staring down her eyeline. “Master Crane has brilliant feathers,” he commented, sounding very much like he was contemplating the same thing she was. “you two close?”</p>
<p>Viper nodded, still watching Crane thoughtfully. “I’ve known him for years.”</p>
<p>“Maybe he’d let you use one of his feathers, he has many to spare after all.”</p>
<p>“Do you think they’re suitable?”</p>
<p>“Oh definitely! Ideal, actually.” The pig said rather enthusiastically. “You’re lucky he’s your friend, I’d love to have such impressive plumage so easily in reach.”</p>
<p>Viper hummed in appreciation. The number of feathers <em>was </em>very impressive. She herself had felt them countless of times when needing to hitch a ride higher up. They were always soft to the touch. Velvety in the way that fur couldn’t be. And the fringed ends provided a unique texture she was fond of. A stark contrast to her own slippery scales.</p>
<p>Her mind made up, she turned back to the vendor. “I’ll take two please, keep the change.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>As they made their way back, Viper pondered her options. On one side, she could wait until he eventually started moulting and she could take one silently and he’d never be able to object. But moulting season wouldn’t start for months! Viper wasn’t patient enough to wait that long. There was also the option of waiting until something stressed him out, then feathers would be dropping left and right. But that felt a bit mean, and in all the years they’d been friends he didn’t tend to get very stressed anyway. However, what was the harm in just <em>asking </em>him for a feather… <em>no! </em>That would be so embarrassing! <em>Oh hi Crane could I just have one of your feathers? Why? Well I’m going to use it for writing!</em> Viper physically shook her head to rid herself of what his reaction might be if she asked him that question.</p>
<p>Her pondering followed her all the way through dinner, which didn’t go unnoticed by her friends.</p>
<p>“Viper!” Monkey almost yelled in her face. “You never answered my question.”</p>
<p>“What?” She said stupidly, too distracted by the light fluttering of Crane’s feathers in the breeze of the open window. “Oh, sorry. What did you say?”</p>
<p>“I said, were you looking at that market stand with the quills?” He said impatiently.</p>
<p>“Yes…?”</p>
<p>Crane made a face of discomfort. “Does the guy use <em>real </em>feathers?” He asked, looking as if he didn’t really want to know the answer.</p>
<p>Viper’s breath hitched. “Uh – no – no, he doesn’t.” She lied deftly, thinking of the two quills she stashed away in her room for reference.</p>
<p>Crane breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s good. To be honest with you, I find it a little disturbing that some crafters use real feathers to make those things.” He shuddered at the thought. “I once had someone ask me on a mission we went on if he could take a few of my feathers…”</p>
<p>Mantis winced loudly. “That’s <em>absurdly </em>weird! It’s like someone wanting to skin Tigress for her fur!”</p>
<p>Tigress gave him an annoyed look. “I didn’t need that imagery, thanks.” She remarked.</p>
<p>“Eeesh, imagine a coat made of Tigress.” Po commented unhelpfully.</p>
<p>She glared at him while Monkey, Mantis and Crane made faces of disgust.</p>
<p>Viper had averted her eyes early on in the conversation and was staring intently at the dining table. She didn’t quite know how to react at their apparent discomfort at the use of real feathers. She supposed that if someone skinned a snake and created some sort of horrible bag with the scales she’d be pretty disturbed too. But that was different, right? To use the skin of an animal required death. Simply plucking a feather from a bird was far from that. Especially if the bird in question had so many feathers already.</p>
<p>She looked at Crane again. After seeing him fly tirelessly in the rain, they’d found that he was actually pretty skinny under all his plumage. It got a good laugh out of them at the time, leaving him to give everyone a few well-aimed kicks. But now, that information was very useful to Viper. An idea started forming in her mind, piecing together everything she’d picked up about Crane over the years.</p>
<p>The final master plan she settled on was to sneak into his room that night. It sounded strange and absolutely <em>absurd, </em>but it would definitely, <em>definitely</em> work. He had pretty good pain tolerance, therefore he wouldn’t feel the small pull of a feather. And especially considering he had such a thick layer, it would make no difference to him. She became a little excited then. Having one of his feathers for herself was suddenly very possible and <em>very </em>in reach.</p>
<p>After finishing dinner, the masters bid each other goodnight. Viper didn’t sleep though, and sat in the darkness of her room, carefully biding her time until hearing the light snores around her…</p>
<hr/>
<p>Crane was sleeping soundly.</p>
<p>After years of sleeping in the same room together for far away missions Viper knew who slept heavy and who didn’t. Tigress was a very light sleeper. Any noise or movement and she would be up in an instant, meaning they never needed a lookout. A sleep-deprived tiger did the job. Mantis was also pretty light. Viper guessed it was due to how tiny he was, where the footsteps of any loud animal would send vibrations into the ground and get him to jump up into a defensive stance. Monkey, Po and Crane, however, were possibly the <em>heaviest </em>sleepers Viper had ever met. Monkey had once slept through the morning gong, then continued to sleep even when Tigress roared in his ear. For Po to wake up, it usually took one of Mantis’ acupuncture attacks or a lot of prodding and poking. Crane wasn’t as hard to wake up, but when he didn’t want to be disturbed he’d often sit on a tree branch and sleep there, making sure he was high enough to not hear their yelling.</p>
<p>She closed the door gently behind her, though the sound wouldn’t be nearly loud enough to wake him, it didn’t hurt to be careful.</p>
<p>Slithering closer, she inspected his feathers with a keen eye. Taking one from his wing seemed risky, though there were plenty, she didn’t know how many he needed to fly. And her aim was for everything to be in complete secret, rendering him flightless the next day would definitely not be discreet. Taking a tail feather felt a bit cruel, he’d surely feel sore in the morning. She watched them intently as they twitched in whatever random dream he was having. She binned that idea quickly, the muscles were probably stronger in that area, creating more sensitivity.</p>
<p>Circling him slowly she finally decided on an unassuming feather to pluck. In the middle of his wings, laying on the top of a thick plumage. It sat just above his tail feathers, and held a lovely descent in colour from white to grey to black. She held her breath in anticipation. It was perfect. Her tail touched it gently, and Crane didn’t stir.</p>
<p>Soft to the touch.</p>
<p>Coiling her tail round it securely, she pulled with all her might. It came out with some resistance, but once it separated from its host she let out a sigh of relief. Everything had gone to plan.</p>
<p>Except he screamed loud enough to deafen her.</p>
<p>“I’M SORRY!” She screamed back instinctively, letting the feather drop to the floor.</p>
<p>“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”</p>
<p>“I DIDN’T MEAN TO-“</p>
<p>“WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!”</p>
<p>“MASTER SHIFU!” Viper’s frightened scream was loud enough to rival Crane’s.</p>
<p>The doors were blown open and Shifu stood in the middle, boiling with rage. The other masters had also gathered behind him with disbelief and shock written across their faces. They all looked as if they’d just woken up, judging by the unabashed confusion and tousled fur. How Monkey and Po actually woke up was beyond her, and how Shifu managed to get into the barracks so fast was a complete mystery since she was pretty sure he was in a completely different building. Sensitive hearing was no joke. <em>This is the most embarrassing moment of my life.</em> Viper sent a wish to the gods for the ground to open up and swallow her. <em>Please stop my existence.</em></p>
<p>“Viper!” Shifu started angrily through gritted teeth. “What are you doing in Crane’s room!”</p>
<p>Crane gave Viper a wide-eyed look, not knowing how to answer. She recoiled, feeling much the same. “I didn’t mean to wake him up!” She meant for it to be apologetic, though it came out as more of a whine.</p>
<p>“What did you do!” Shifu yelled, hitting his staff on the floorboards for emphasis.</p>
<p>Crane looked down at the fallen feather. “Did you…?” He started, then piecing together what must have happened, he gave her a horror-stricken look.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry! I thought your pain tolerance was higher!” She squeaked, not knowing what to say other than apologies.</p>
<p> Crane looked even more shocked at this. “WHAT!?”</p>
<p>“SORRY!”</p>
<p>“VIPER!”</p>
<p>“I JUST WANTED A FEATHER!”</p>
<p>“WHY!?”</p>
<p>“I DON’T KNOW!” Viper felt on the verge of tears, this was all going horribly wrong.</p>
<p>“BUT IT <em>HURT</em>!” To add to her guilt, Crane sounded close to tears too.</p>
<p>They both stopped abruptly at a loud, high-pitched wheezing sound.</p>
<p>Turning round, they discovered that the source of the wheezing sound was Monkey and Mantis. Their so called “friends” looked like they were going to die of laughter. They both had tears streaming down their faces and didn’t even bother to wipe them off. Monkey was struggling to breathe and Mantis had rolled off his shoulder and was convulsing on the floor. There and then Viper knew that this wasn’t just the most embarrassing day of her life, it was also the <em>worst </em>day of her life.</p>
<p>“Viper,” Shifu growled, running a tired hand over his face. “are you being serious?”</p>
<p>She was caught between a rock and a hard place, so stayed mute.</p>
<p>If it were possible, Shifu scowled even further. “Plucking a feather from a bird is going to <em>hurt</em>, I’m surprised he hasn’t attacked you yet.” Viper wanted to point out that Shifu shouldn’t speak too soon but instead held her silence.</p>
<p>Monkey and Mantis were still puddles of silent laughter. Po looked pretty disturbed at her admission. And Tigress… well, if Shifu hadn’t been there then Viper probably wouldn’t have survived that night. She was angry, because Crane was in pain or because Viper had interrupted her sleep, she wasn’t sure, but guessed it was the latter.</p>
<p>Crane had his wings slightly out, a common sign of frustration from him.</p>
<p>It only strengthened her guilt.</p>
<p>So Viper burst into tears.</p>
<p>Shifu sighed deeply out of exasperation. “You’ve got to be kidding me…” He muttered into his staff.</p>
<p>She couldn’t deny it felt like an outer-body experience. “I’m sorry!” Viper cried, slightly hysterical. “It was an impulsive thing! I didn’t do it because I wanted to hurt him!”</p>
<p>“You could have <em>asked </em>him.” Shifu ran a tired hand over his face, now looking more disappointed than angry.</p>
<p>“<em>No I couldn’t!</em>” She yelled, starting to choke up.</p>
<p>Her tears went ignored by the two idiots who were miraculously, still laughing. Their wheezing had now evolved to loud and full-on guffaws, steadily interrupting her emotional breakdown.</p>
<p>“MONKEY AND MANTIS IF YOU DON’T STOP LAUGHING THIS INSTANT I WILL PERSONALLY SPAR WITH YOU BOTH!” Shifu roared.</p>
<p>That did the job. They both shut up immediately (in hindsight, very impressive considering how far gone they were) and stood up straight, terrified of Shifu’s threat.</p>
<p>A skill that Viper never knew Shifu had was influencing the emotion of a room. She realised this when Crane ruffled his feathers suddenly and uncharacteristically angrily. Almost furious. “But why did you pluck my feather! It’s a <em>violation </em>of privacy!” He had to raise his voice to be heard over Shifu’s roar.</p>
<p>“<em>I’M SORRY OKAY!” </em>She wailed, becoming even more hysterical at all the yelling going on.</p>
<p>“YOU CAN’T PLUCK MY FEATHER OUT AND JUST SAY SORRY!”</p>
<p>“<em>WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY?!</em>”</p>
<p>“I’ve never seen him this angry…” Mantis whispered to Monkey.</p>
<p>“Me neither, what the hell was she thinking…?” Monkey whispered back.</p>
<p>“You two are <em>not helping</em>!” Shifu hissed, holding his deadly staff to their throats.</p>
<p>Their exchange had gone unnoticed by Crane and Viper.</p>
<p>“TELL ME WHY YOU THOUGHT IT WAS OK TO DO!”</p>
<p>“YOU HAVE <em>SO MANY TO SPARE</em>!”</p>
<p>The room went silent for a split-second. Monkey, Mantis and Shifu all made faces of utter shock at Viper’s yell. It was the worst thing to say to a sleep-deprived bird.</p>
<p>“Oh my god…”</p>
<p>“Oh she’s in for it…”</p>
<p>Crane faltered at her confession, and, if it were possible, looked even angrier. He spread his wings and for a moment Viper was scared he was going to flap her away with a gust of wind. “I CAN’T <em>BELIEVE</em> YOU! WHY DID YOU THINK YOU COULD DO THAT?! I’VE NEVER BEEN THIS ANGRY AT ANYONE-“</p>
<p>“EVERYONE <em>SHUT UP</em>!”</p>
<p>Everyone, including Shifu, turned to Tigress, who was seething, her paws balled into fists probably to keep from protracting her claws. By the looks of it, Po had just nervously poked her, seemingly for someone to actually <em>deal </em>with the situation rather than leave Crane raging. He looked like he would rather be anywhere else, and took a small step away from Tigress.</p>
<p>“I don’t care what comes of this.” She said tensely through gritted teeth, her voice cutting like a knife. “But I want you to resolve it, <em>now.</em>”</p>
<p>Viper felt a small part of her die. It was most likely her dignity.</p>
<p>“Thanks a lot for waking us up.” She glowered to Viper and Crane, and took Po’s arm, dragging him out and down the hall. “Let’s go back to bed.” They heard her mutter.</p>
<p>Shifu scowled at Viper, and she almost backed away from him. “You single-handedly managed to anger Tigress, myself and the most peaceful member of the Palace in one night, as well as interrupted our much-needed sleep.” He growled. Shifu <em>really </em>wasn’t holding back with his venom this time… “For your punishment, you will clean the training hall every day for a month.”</p>
<p>Viper nodded readily, it could be worse, she wondered if it had anything to do with – “I have gone easy on your punishment only because Masters Monkey and Mantis could not control themselves and did not help the situation.” <em>Ah that’s nice of him, the master has mercy after all.</em></p>
<p>The two mentioned exchanged worried looks. It settled Viper’s mind a little that they’d probably face a light punishment later.</p>
<p>Shifu’s gaze moved to Crane, this time more concerned than angry. “Crane, are you alright?”</p>
<p>Viper didn’t miss the side-eye Crane sent her. “I’m fine, master. A bit sore but mostly tired.”</p>
<p>Shifu nodded curtly. “Everyone back to bed!” He instructed, waving his staff impatiently to get them all out Crane’s room.</p>
<p>Viper was the fastest out. She slithered straight into her room at top speed and slammed the doors forcefully. <em>That was horrible. </em>Leaning her head against the paper she closed her eyes and sighed deeply. <em>How did I manage to make Crane so angry at me?</em> A few more silent tears escaped her and she didn’t bother to wipe them away, letting them slide down her face and drop onto the floor. In the end, she coiled up next to the door and fell into an uneasy sleep.</p>
<p>She was pretty sure there was a self-pity cry at some point during the night.</p>
<p>As well as the question that was probably bouncing through everyone’s heads: <em>By god what in the world possessed me to do that? </em></p>
<hr/>
<p>Viper swept the last few bits of debris into the flaming tongues of fire, ready to burn the wood into obscurity. She wasn’t properly angry at herself, more frustrated with how avoidable the situation was.  And, of course, Crane’s look of horror that was permanently ingrained into her mind when she closed her eyes. The “incident” had happened a week and a half ago. Since then, Crane had skittishly avoided her, and she had to admit she did the same. It was a challenging task, considering their rooms were opposite each other and he was the one she spent the most time with. (and she missed her friend… a lot) She couldn’t blame him for avoiding her. It seemed like he was still processing the whole situation himself. Not to mention his absolutely <em>awful </em>track-record with confrontations.</p>
<p>“How’s cleaning going?” Asked the last voice she wanted to hear. And the last voice she <em>expected </em>to hear.</p>
<p>She leaned her head against the broom with a low cringe. “Please don’t rub it in…” She uttered into the handle. Despite knowing Crane had not a spiteful bone in his tiny body, her lowest moment caused her mouth to reel off some really stupid things…</p>
<p>“I’m not – I – why would I come here to rub it in?” Crane sounded genuinely confused. <em>Stop making things weird! </em>She wanted to yell at him.</p>
<p>Viper turned away from him with an annoyed sigh. “Because you’re probably still angry at me.”</p>
<p>“I’m not angry.” He denied quickly. “Okay, fine, I was angry at first, but I could never stay angry at you.”</p>
<p>Viper huffed and threw the broom to the side with much more force than intended. “Then why are you still here?” She said rudely, shocking herself with the hostility. <em>Well now everything’s even more messed up than before, just great. </em></p>
<p>Crane sheepishly scratched the floor with his talons. “I was just – well, we haven’t – we – “ He started with frustrated exhales between the change of phrases. “we haven’t properly talked since… you know…” He drifted off with the understatement of the century, leaving an awkward silence between them.</p>
<p>Viper looked to the ceiling, even though there was no worry with making eye-contact, she knew Crane well enough to know that he’d have his hat over his eyes or be looking anywhere but at her. “I guess you deserve to know…” She said quietly, and concentrated strongly on keeping her eyes dry. “That day, I talked to the vendor with the quills, and you guys asked me if he used real feathers or not.”</p>
<p>In her peripherals, she saw him lift his hat and stare closely at her with an illegible facial expression. “I lied. I said no.” Bracing herself for the inevitable consequences, she carried on. “He said that I could make a good quill with – uh – with one of – one of – um – “ Her small voice faltered, not knowing how to say it without offending him.</p>
<p>“One of my feathers?” He finished for her, sounding a lot less freaked out than she imagined.</p>
<p>Viper hung her head in shame. “Yeah…”</p>
<p>A moment of silence passed and Crane lifted his hat. “You could have just asked me,” He said bashfully. “I wouldn’t have minded.”</p>
<p>She gave him a disbelieving look. Partly irked that he was contradicting himself. “You said at the dining table that you found it disturbing when some random guy asked you for a feather.” She grumbled, still unintentionally hostile.</p>
<p>“But he was some random guy,” Crane shrugged as if it was nothing. “you’re my best friend, there’s a huge difference.”</p>
<p>Still, she glared at him. “You’re just saying that because you feel bad for my most embarrassing moment.” She inwardly shuddered at the mere thought of that fateful night.</p>
<p>“It was pretty embarrassing for me too, so I’d say we’re in the same boat.”</p>
<p>She aimed deadly a lash at him with her tail, which he avoided quickly, hopping up and out of her reach. “Shut up.” She growled.</p>
<p>“No, honestly, it would have hurt a lot less if you’d let me take out the feather myself.” He started to smirk at her look of surprise as he raised his wing. “Here, you might as well have one.” He said casually, as if it were something that just happened in everyday life.</p>
<p>Viper couldn’t believe her eyes when he plucked a dark feather from the edge of his wing with a small wince and held it out to her.</p>
<p>She edged closer to it. “Is that… for me?”</p>
<p>“Yes, why else would I take it out?”</p>
<p>“I can’t take that!” She gasped breathlessly.</p>
<p>“Well no one’s using it now, and anyway, I have many to spare.” He winked at her cheekily with a naughty smile as he quoted her words.</p>
<p>She rolled her eyes at his obvious preening, but took the feather anyway, inspecting it with wonder. “So does this mean… I’m forgiven?” She asked tentatively.</p>
<p>He made an annoying decisive sound and tilted his head in thought before nodding with finality. “Yes, but only after-“ He flew over her suddenly and tore off a flake of skin that was almost ready to shed. “-this!”</p>
<p>She yelped in pain. Shedding time was close but taking the skin off early really <em>hurt</em>. Her mouth opened to give him some choice words, but then remembered her position. “I guess I deserve that.” She muttered in humility. “We’re definitely even now? No more tearing off skin or plucking feathers?”</p>
<p>Crane grinned and Viper felt the weight of the situation lift off her soul. “Yes, now come on, Po’s making dumplings and I bet you’re hungry.”</p>
<p>She slithered next to him, a smile she hadn’t felt for a while took its residence on her face.</p>
<p>Crane stopped suddenly on their way out the training hall. “I missed you.” He said quickly. “No matter how angry I was, I missed you.”</p>
<p>Setting aside a smug “I know” for later, Viper settled on telling the truth. “I missed you too.”</p>
<p>(Viper ended up not making a quill, finding that the craft wasn’t really for her, so Crane’s feather found its residence in a little box in her room, to remind herself of her most absurd moment)</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This got a bit emotional halfway through writing and I was like "wait no stOP MAKING IT ANGSTY" because I, a writer of ridiculous angst, apparently have to put angst in everything I write. So yeah... redrafting was a bitch but I think the emotional levels turned out alright in the end.</p>
<p>My writing probably doesn't pull this off very well, but as the fic progresses it's supposed to show Viper steadily digging her own grave of embarrassment. </p>
<p>She doesn't get enough love in this fandom and we <em>really</em> need more shennanigans with her. </p>
<p>(also I feel like she and Crane are really close despite there being little to no interaction between them in the films because their personalities would meld really well together)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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